Ā鶹AV

Dear First-Year Ā鶹AVs,

To preface: this is not my best writing, but thatā€™s not the point. The point is to get you thinking, and to remind my own self of why I became the person I am today. Grab some water, a snack, and maybe even a notebook; itā€™s time for some reflection.

Have any of you ever watched the movie ā€œSoulā€? Itā€™s an animated movie produced by Pixar, and itā€™s one of those movies that makes you rethink your life a little bit. Essentially, you follow the life of Joe ā€“ your basic music teacher who dreams of becoming a ā€œtrueā€ jazz musician outside of the grimy brick walls of the band room. Itā€™s a pretty stereotypical plot, but as the movie proceeds, one finds life being put into an entirely new perspective.

Or, rather, 7.951 billion.

There are 7.951 billion human perspectives ā€“ people ā€“ on Earth. Someone wakes up to their shack-like apartment in New York City, and another rolls up in the newest model of Ferrari (itā€™s their third one, too). Your professor bites into their bagel, doing their best to filter through the horrific onslaught of student emails, and you stare into the endless mass of homework on your Canvas feed.

(Author, at 3AM and squinting at her microbiology module: ā€œWhat is going on? What is this? What????? Dude, bro.ā€)

We perceive the world so differently from one another. Someone picks a loaf of gluten-free bread off the shelf because they have Celiac disease, or a surgeon swears, whisking the scalpel away as they try to repair their mistake. Iā€™m in the ambulance at 4 AM, blinking into a dark parking lot, and another person halfway across the world snacks on their favorite food, watching the ducks.

College will ask you many questions, and not all of them will be the ones your professor hands out to you. Sometimes, you will debate whether or not you can get to class because youā€™re sick. Other times, youā€™ll just debate if itā€™s actually worth it (I promise that it is). You will ask ā€œdumbā€ questions, and perhaps youā€™ll get a ā€œdumbā€ answer in return. Life is funny like that.

Then, there are the questions that youā€™ll ask yourself. Why am I doing this? How am I supposed to do this? Should I ā€“ can I ā€“ ask for help? What can I do to control this? There are so many questions, thoughts, ideas, and blurbs that your mind will throw at you, but the one that I really want you to think about is:

Who do you want to be?

ā€œWho.ā€ Not ā€œwhat.ā€ ā€œWhatā€ ā€“ itā€™s too much of an objective word for my taste, and often does not focus on the inner journey one goes through during their college experience. ā€œWhatā€ you want to be could be anything, but ā€œwhoā€ comes down to your soul, your heart, and what you decide to cultivate as your human experience. Typically, Iā€™d start by asking yourself what qualities you want to display to the world around you (i.e. kindness, generosity, thoughtfulness, etc.) and you can build off those. I know this may be a little bit confusing to understand ā€“ Iā€™m definitely a bit of a philosophy person, lol ā€“ but give it time, and I think youā€™ll be able to get it down.

I know that being a first-year student can be a scary thing, but, trust me, itā€™ll get better. You make life your own, and youā€™re not working for people. Youā€™re working for yourself. All of this is for you! All those decisions you made? The mistakes and your fears?

To anyone debating their major, weigh the pros and cons of it and make a decision at one point or another. Yes, you have your whole life, but what do you define as life in the first place? What is life if itā€™s not just a series of actions after the next, and love smeared across all of it like some weird PB&J?

I guess what Iā€™m getting at is: Do what you love. Donā€™t get too caught up in what other people are doing (though itā€™s quite hard not to, especially if youā€™re in a competitive program), and just focus on what you want to be doing with your life.

Do that, and you will find that everything will work out in ways youā€™d never believe. I promise. Passion leads to love which leads to want. You can have anything you want, but you have to be able to accept that in its entirety.

So: who do you want to be?

As cryptic as this article sounds, I hope that one day youā€™ll be able to look back and say to yourself:

ā€œWow, maybe sheā€™s not absolutely nuts.ā€

Allow yourself to explore, to have trial and error, and to fail. You will only learn by doing, and I strongly recommend that you use your first year as a learning period. Get curious, ask questions, and stay true to yourself in every way. I will be publishing a ā€œFirst-Year Student Field Guideā€ at one point or another, so stay tuned for that as well.

I wish everyone a great week, and to keep cozy! Fall is definitely on the way, and the Celantano-Bixler wind tunnel of certain doom will manifest... eventually. Take care ā¤ļø

With peace, love, and peanut butter,
Bea ā˜ŗļø